He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
