Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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