'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
