I'm gonna have a badass scar
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
