am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think my vagina is haunted
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
