This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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