I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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