Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
