then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
