Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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