So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
