he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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