letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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