She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
