i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
