Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
