you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
