elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
