I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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