his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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