I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
