if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize