So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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