I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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