Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
