Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
organizing the empties. That sober.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
