what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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