This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
