Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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