dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
no you cant smoke seaweed
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
