So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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