The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
