You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
