she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
