I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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