Who did Billy Mays play for?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
