I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
