The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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