Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
