would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
