wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
