There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
