I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
