I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
