Where is the hickey?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize