Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
