Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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