I want to walk on stilts...naked
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
try to milk me bitch
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