we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
