wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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