yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
only if we run a train.
done.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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