I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
