Sry I called you an 8
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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