i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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