I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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