I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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