four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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