I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize