yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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