we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
