His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
